


Hope Is A Four Letter Word

by orphan_account



Category: Free!
Genre: Angst, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, This is not as lighthearted as the tags seem, big strong boys crying, but you know me and my happy endings, captain Rin to the rescue, sort of, sousuke defense squad mobilize!, takes place immediately after the ending of episode 9
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-31
Updated: 2014-08-31
Packaged: 2018-02-15 15:07:19
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,381
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2233530
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The echo of a single spray of water sounded from the showers.  Rin made that his current target.  As he strode through the lockers, searching for Sousuke, there was an uneasy feeling in the pit of his stomach.  Sousuke was a professional, he wouldn't just disappear on them like this.  There had been no sign of him outside though, so Rin's quest continued.  Being the captain, it was his responsibility anyway, so he hadn't set the others to looking.  <br/>	Not just yet, anyway.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Hope Is A Four Letter Word

**Author's Note:**

> This is dedicated to everyone rolling around on the floor in a puddle of Sousuke feels after episode 9. I wish it was longer, but at the same time, it already became more than it was supposed to be... I felt compelled to get it posted before next week's episode though, so here you go...  
> I'm not even supposed to be writing anything right now...  
> But the FEELS...

 

The echo of a single spray of water sounded from the showers. Rin made that his current target. As he strode through the lockers, searching for Sousuke, there was an uneasy feeling in the pit of his stomach. Sousuke was a professional, he wouldn't just disappear on them like this. There had been no sign of him outside though, so Rin's quest continued. Being the captain, it was his responsibility anyway, so he hadn't set the others to looking.

Not just yet, anyway.

They only had about fifteen minutes left before the relay. If Rin's semi-casual meandering didn't turn him up in the next five, he'd enlist some help. As pretty much Sousuke's best friend, Rin knew all about the grumpier male's preference for solitude. This was cutting it _too_ close though, they all should have been warmed up and ready to go at this point. Rin hadn't seen hide nor hair of him since they did those few quick exchanges earlier.

He'd been so distracted by Haru's performance, that he hadn't registered the taller man's absence until now.

Stepping casually into the doorway of the showers, in case it _wasn't_ Sousuke, Rin started to bring a questioning greeting to his lips. The sound died out completely though, when he saw the huddled form under the water.

“Sousuke?!” he darted forward, taking in the pained hunch of his friend's body.

Instead of answering, Sousuke turned his head even farther away, making fear spike through Rin's heart. He simultaneously dropped to his knees and turned off the cascading water.

“Hey, talk to me Sousuke. What happened? You're hurt, aren't you?” Rin tried to touch the shoulder that wasn't being clutched, but even that made a groan sound out over the tiles.

“Shit” Sousuke was breathing too hard for simply sitting on the floor, and his expletive did little to explain. “Fuck it” he panted, “You're... You're going to have to sub someone in for me...”

Sousuke's voice was not full of his usual apathy, bordering on derision. It wavered, charged with emotion, and then Rin realized he was actually crying.

“Damn it, Sousuke, what are you talking about? Did you fall or something? What the fuck happened?” Rin continued trying to coax more information out of him in his own gruff way. He knew it was a method Sousuke understood.

“There's no time-” Sousuke grunted, his pain overwhelming speech for a moment, “You've got to get out there and swim that relay. Don't let them down just because I am...” Sousuke seemed to trail off, but Rin wasn't sure if it was from a lack of any more to say, or from needing to catch his breath. It was scarier than he would have thought, to see his huge roommate reduced to a shuddering lump on the floor.

“Sousuke, look, you need help” Rin tried a hand on his knee instead, hoping it was far enough from the affected area that it wouldn't hurt him. The gesture only seemed to anger the man in front of him though.

“Get the fuck out of here! Didn't you hear me?! They'll be disqualified!” Sousuke suddenly shouted at him, “Don't crush all their hard work for no reason!”

Rin was startled at the outburst, literally falling back on his ass from where he had been crouched. He sat and blinked at Sousuke, then at the clock on the locker room wall, visible through the doorway.

Seven minutes.

He looked back to Sousuke, who glared at him, as mad as Rin had ever seen him. Sousuke's arm hung limply at his side, while he continued to cling to the shoulder above it with his good hand.

There was a desperation in his eyes.

Finally, Rin nodded.

He understood. Not everything, but enough. He knew that right now he needed to do the thing that was responsible for the larger team. That was what Sousuke was asking of him. Not to let them down.

“I'll be back as soon as the race is done, ok?” Rin told him as he was climbing to his feet, trying to sound reassuring.

“Fucking get out of here already!” Sousuke yelled at him again, his voice breaking slightly.

Rin ran.

Somewhere outside, he snagged the elbow of the first official he found, hurriedly explaining the change in their line up. As he went through the motions of running to inform Sousuke's replacement, his mind felt blank.

It wasn't calming.

Kubota was one of their most serious freestylers, just below himself and Sousuke. He would have to do. Rin didn't like what it said of him, to think of his teammates in that way in a time of crisis. He didn't have time to dwell on it though. Kubota's times were closer to his in freestyle than anyone else's on the team where to Sousuke's in butterfly. Rin would have to swim the fly portion himself then. It was fine with him actually, since it meant he'd be able to rush back to his stricken friend more quickly.

Momo and Ai were exchanging one last worried look in front of him, when Rin finally snapped to the present.

“Senpai?” Ai's hesitant voice was asking him, laced with worry. Rin looked down and saw Momo already darting away from the start with the other backstroke competitors.

“It's ok, Ai, we'll just do the best we can” he said, patting his shoulder and urging him to get his goggles on. Rin watched the young breaststroker fly off the block once Momo made his way back, and then he stepped up himself. The rough texture beneath his feet, grainy to promote grip, served almost as a classical conditioning. He let himself breathe, focusing on Ai's movement back toward him now.

They hadn't practiced this at all, the exchanges with each other in these positions.

Rin didn't spare a glance to see how the rest of the field was doing in comparison to them though. Iwatobi was on nearly the other side of the pool, and he found himself in just the right mindset to let himself ignore Haru.

Strange.

He felt himself cutting through the water, but he didn't remember jumping in. Rin turned his attention back to swimming, focusing on bringing his body up and out of the water as high as he could with each stroke. Just the way Sousuke would have. The water around him suddenly felt, almost, uncertain. Like the mechanics of buoyancy and swimming might give way at any moment. Which was a stupid thing to think, so he pushed it out of his mind. When he hit the wall at the finish though, he was forced to think again.

Ai and Momo's faces were twisted in apprehension, and he briefly wondered how badly he had just swam out there... But it honestly wasn't his most pressing concern right now.

“Sousuke's hurt. I'm going to get him to a hospital. Ai, tell the vice-captain he's in charge of getting everyone back to the hotel” Rin said as he pulled himself out of the water. Without stopping to dry, he headed directly back to the lockers, with Ai's concerned agreement trailing in the air behind him. Rin didn't even stop to see what position their relay would come in before leaving.

His mind raced now, where it had been his body that was a moment ago.

Just how bad was Sousuke, really? He wouldn't drop out of the race if he wasn't in a lot of pain... Was that why he'd had the water running? Was the heat helping? If so, then maybe it wasn't the kind of bad that was like, career ending bad... Rin hurried around the corner to the showers, mentally kicking himself for having left the water off when he left. He shouldn't have taken away any small bit of comfort Sousuke had in that moment...

Still sitting in a heap, Sousuke was openly crying on the floor when Rin returned. All the redhead's wishful thinking of lesser injuries flew out of his mind in that instant.

“Shit, Sousuke...” he didn't even know what to say, what to do to get him up off the floor without hurting him. Rin knelt next to him again.

“Hey. Hey, come on... We've got to get you to a hospital” Rin tried to sound soothing and encouraging, but he could hear the lie in his own voice. Sousuke kept crying, holding his shoulder while his head was ducked. Presumably in shame.

“I'm sorry” he managed to croak out between heaving breaths. Rin was used to him being terse, but that wasn't the reason he understood him perfectly.

“Nah, man, it's ok. It's gonna be alright. Let's just get you up” more lies fell out of Rin's mouth before he could even think about it. Maybe things would be fine for himself, but for Sousuke, things were most definitely _not_ going to be fine. There was no movement on Sousuke's part, and Rin made a frustrated noise, feeling kind of helpless. Silence was beginning to settle over the room, but Rin just couldn't let it.

“How did this happen, Sou?” he tried softening things a little, even though Sousuke didn't usually respond to stuff like that. Dark hair shook back and forth, still not wanting to meet his eyes.

“I... I was injured last year... I thought it was better. It was supposed to be better...” he finally came clean, his back hunching that much further in despair for what he'd been hiding.

“You were already hurt? Before you even came here? Sousuke...” Rin had been in disbelief of this entire situation for a while, but he felt the shock finally wearing off. “Why didn't you tell me? Huh? We're supposed to be friends. Hell, even as your captain... Fuck, especially as your captain. Sou, I would never have pushed you so hard if I'd known” Rin's chest bubbled with a rib-tightening mixture of anger and guilt, thinking of the times he'd accused Sousuke of holding back. He felt like the biggest ass on the planet, but at the same time, it wasn't really his fault... But it was hard to blame Sousuke with him shivering and despondent in front of him.

“I just... I wanted to get to swim with you... To be...” Sousuke paused, seeming to grip his shoulder extra hard for a moment, holding his breath. Then he lifted his head, showing a surprising amount of determination in his eyes, considering how lost his face looked.

“I wanted so much more than just to swim with you” he said sadly, like it was a deathbed confession, a final decree of what the truth of his life had been. Rin was stunned. He was still working through the implication of what those words in that order meant, when he felt Sousuke's hand on his cheek. The pained swimmer had released his shoulder briefly, and pulled Rin's face over to his. Their lips met in a kiss, soft and unobtrusive. Rin wondered if this was what people meant by a “stolen” one...

Sousuke kept his eyes closed as he pulled away, as if savoring the moment of infinity in the calm before a storm.

“I know the swimming's all I ever could ha-”

His words were cut off by his free hand shooting back to his shoulder. A strangled cry filled the space where words used to be on his lips, and suddenly Rin was galvanized to action.

“Come on, we need to get you to the hospital _now_ ” he urged, dismissing the kiss for the moment. He wrapped an arm around Sousuke's waist, supporting him as much as he could while they struggled to their feet.

Rin had pulled a muscle in his back once before. He knew exactly how interconnected everything there was, and that the getting up was the hard part. Once on his feet, Sousuke swayed a little, but was able to stay standing. He was crying again though, almost whimpering from the pain. It made it worse that he was obviously _trying_ _not_ _to_.

Figuring he'd already wasted enough time in letting his friend be emotional, instead of actually helping, Rin guided him outside. With both of them still in just their swimsuits, Rin let Sousuke lean on him while the adults evaluated things.

It made Rin visibly wince to hear the words “torn rotator cuff” come out of Sousuke's mouth.

He could imagine the depth of sadness Sousuke was experiencing. Rin felt guilty though, realizing the crumbling future he had once experienced wasn't anywhere near on the same level. He'd never lost the actual ability to swim. From what the adults around them were saying, Sousuke shouldn't be in this much pain either. Not from just a rotator cuff. The look on his friend's face though, said he knew that too.

Sousuke seemed to lose all hope when he admitted to the officials that he felt like he was going to pass out, and wasn't sure he could make it to the parking lot... At that point, they decided to forgo taking him in themselves, and called an ambulance. If a massive guy like Sousuke feinted, there was no way they could get him to the hospital without aggravating his injury.

Some of the other Samezuka team came by to check on the situation, but once they got a look at Sousuke's face, they backed off. Then when the ambulance arrived, Rin realized just how much of the injured man's weight he had been carrying. The paramedics lowered their cot for him, and Sousuke nearly collapsed onto it. He refused to lay back though. Rin was afraid he may not have a choice for much longer. Short, shallow breaths passed rapidly out of Sousuke's mouth, and he was pale as a sheet.

“I'm going with him” he told the ambulance driver firmly. “I'm his captain, it's my responsibility.”

A hand caught his elbow right as he was climbing in though, and he turned to find a concerned Makoto standing there.

“Here, take your bag with you. Aiichirou said he'll take Sousuke's things back to Samezuka for him” green eyes offered up the duffel in condolence. Rin accepted it with a nod, but then the paramedics shooed Makoto away so they could close the doors. Standing silently in the background had been Haru, but he hadn't said anything. Rin was just too overwhelmed right now to worry about how Haru was throwing his life away. He was more concerned over Sousuke losing the one he'd been giving everything for.

Reaching out, he put his hand back on Sousuke's knee, squeezing gently in support. It felt like they sat that way for hours, but he knew the hospital couldn't be more than a few minutes away. There wasn't anything Rin could do to ease the physical pain, and he wasn't sure he was helping that much on the emotional field either... He was trying though.

Suddenly the ambulance went over a small bump in the road, just enough to slightly jar them inside. Sousuke nearly screamed, giving an especially strong squeeze to his shoulder, and then slumped backwards. Rin wished there was something he could do, but he didn't want to get in the paramedic's way. They were taking his vitals, it looked like. One of them turned to him after they confirmed Sousuke was stable.

“He's alright, it's probably better this way. He can rest easier while he's passed out.”

Rin didn't find it very comforting.

At the hospital, Sousuke was whisked away for x-rays while he was still unconscious. Rin was left standing in the waiting room in his leggings, feeling useless and cold.

He should probably change.

He wondered if Makoto had gotten his towel off the bench, so he could dry off some... In the bathrooms, he splashed some water on his face and then peeled off his suit in a stall. His towel and all his things were there, even a few extra protein bars and bottles of water. That was so like Makoto. He was grateful for the thoughtfulness. He'd have to send him a text later to thank him.

For some reason, thinking about how nice Makoto was to everyone, reminded Rin that Sousuke had kissed him.

His fingers were distracted from the task of fastening his pants, coming up to his mouth to brush over his lips. Sousuke's words played over in his head, now that the urgency was gone. Rin's cheeks flushed, finding his own reactions to all this odd. He wasn't one to ever think about indulging in a _romantic_ relationship. There were too many other things to focus on in these past years.

But now though...

Fresh guilt wracked him, considering the success he was having with his own dreams while Sousuke's were dying.

Rin finished buttoning his pants, the slurry of emotions jostling in him doing nothing to help. Back in front of the sinks, he caught himself scowling as he tied up his hair. He hadn't had a chance to shower, and he could still smell the chlorine rolling off of him. He guessed it was fitting though. It smelled like he'd just been sanitized himself as he moved through the hospital halls.

Another twenty minutes passed before a doctor came to inform him on Sousuke's condition.

“Ah, you're Yamazaki's senior?” the bespectacled man asked.

“I'm his captain” Rin settled on, nodding in affirmation. He wanted to be kept in the loop, and denying authority wasn't the way to do that.

“Yes, well, the x-rays revealed a substantial tear. Part of it became pinched as well, which is what's causing him so much extra pain. We're going to go into emergency surgery right now, because of that. Thankfully these kinds of things have a high success rate. After some physical therapy, he should eventually regain full mobility. Do you have a way to contact his parents? There are a few things we'll need to work out with them once the surgery is done.”

So that was it then.

Rin blinked, trying to remember to act like an adult.

“Hai, I'll let the school know to contact them, in case no one has already” he bowed slightly to the doctor, knowing Sousuke was in his hands. After that, and making a couple quick phone calls, Rin was left to wait. He should have asked how long these kinds of surgeries took. He should have asked when _exactly_ they'd be starting it...

He should have said something after Sousuke kissed him.

Hours later, a sympathetic nurse told him he could finally see his friend. Rin was nervous, having had a long time to ponder his sexuality in the florescent, too bright lights. He couldn't find anything inside himself that was grossed out by what Sousuke had done though. In fact, he found himself really wanting to give him the benefit of the doubt.

The problem was, the kiss had been so fleeting, so unexpected, that Rin didn't feel like he'd really gotten enough to go on. Plus, you know, it hadn't exactly been under very romantic circumstances. Sousuke crying in pain was probably the _least_ charming thing he had ever seen...

When he entered the room, Rin was glad to see Sousuke laying back comfortably now. Relief filled him, that at least the worst was over. Physically, anyway. Sousuke's eyes were open, but the nurse instructed them not to take too long. Yamazaki-san needed his rest, after all.

“Hey, you hanging in there?” Rin asked once the nurse had left. There was a chair in the room, but he didn't bother dragging it over for just a few short minutes. Rin stood next to the bed, looking over its patient for any signs of residual pain.

“Doin' better” Sousuke said, his words sounding sleepy. From this close distance, Rin could tell his eyes were a bit glassy, probably from whatever pain medication they'd given him.

“It doesn' hurt anymore, plus, y'know, I'm real glad you don' hate me 'r anything” Sousuke kind of half mumbled.

“Hate you? I'd never do that, man, don't worry about it” Rin answered him, trying to shrug off the heavy topic.

“Good,” Sousuke smiled, his eyes drooping periodically as he spoke, “...loved y'so long. Stupid to risked it... Such an awesome guy...y'r hair's so pretty...” Sousuke kind of trailed off, leaving Rin blushing hard.

“Sure, you know, maybe you should get some rest now though” Rin suggested, patting Sousuke's good hand. The guy was obviously out of it, he never would have said something like that so casually when in his right mind. Sagging teal eyes opened one more time though, looking worried.

“Stay a little? ...Don't know where I am...” Sousuke asked disjointedly, making Rin's heartstrings tug involuntarily.

“Of course” he said, squeezing Sousuke's hand. “You're in Kyoto General Hospital, inpatient wing, room 317” Rin recited. “You're in a hospital bed, so I wouldn't try getting up in the night, if you have to pee or anything” he continued to ramble kind of mindlessly, just to have something to say. His free hand went up to Sousuke's hair, lightly running his fingers through it. It was the thing that comforted Rin most when he was sick, so the motion came naturally to him.

Sousuke gave him a hum of thanks as he slowly slipped under, his face relaxing. Rin continued to stroke his fingers through those dark locks, until he had to admit to himself he was doing it for his own sake, not Sousuke's... After Rin pulled his hand back, he simply stood and watched him sleep for a minute. It wasn't some earth shattering admission on his part, that Sousuke was a more attractive than average guy. He'd always known that.

Maybe it did say something about Rin though... He'd always had a much better sense of what made the guys around him attractive, as opposed to the girls...

Hopefully Sousuke would sleep the night through, because Rin was suddenly dead tired. He managed to lug himself down to the nurse's station, and ask where the nearest hotel was. He could afford a night in some shitty cube room; so long as it had a bed, that's all he needed. Well, and maybe a shower too.

It wasn't until after he had acquired such a room, and shower, that Rin's thoughts flitted across his years with Sousuke in middle school. He'd never really acted like he was in love with Rin back then... But honestly, Rin didn't have a clue about how someone _did_ act, apparently. Could his feelings really have gone on that long? Or was it a more recent thing?

Knowing he'd get no answers until tomorrow, Rin sighed and flung himself down on the cheap mattress.

If he had dreams, he didn't remember any of them.

 

The next morning, Rin noticed there was a small convenience store on the walk back to the hospital. Just the fact that it stopped him in his tracks was enough to make him blush. Well, he might as well go in, since he'd stopped like he was going to...

By the time he finally reached Sousuke's room, the doctor was just leaving it. He nodded to Rin, but didn't stop on his way. Figuring the patient must be awake then, Rin went on in, knocking lightly on the frame of the door, but not pausing.

Sousuke was sitting up in bed, his arm wrapped in a sling. Rin couldn't help it, he flashed a grin at him, seeing his demeanor back to normal.

Everything about the light in Rin's face made Sousuke's heart melt all over again. He did his best to hide it though. He offered a small “hey” as starting conversation, feeling embarrassed.

“I, uh, just wanted to say thanks. And...sorry. For getting all emotional on you...” Sousuke decided to tread lightly in addressing his ignominious confession. He never meant to say anything about that to Rin, ever. Certainly not while bawling on the floor of the showers. Maybe Rin would buy that his brain had been addled by the pain...yeah, that might work...

“Ah, well, it's ok... You seemed pretty heavily drugged” Rin rubbed the back of his neck. He hadn't thought they'd be jumping right into this, but maybe it was for the best. He hooked his foot around the leg of the chair and pulled it over to the side of the bed. He would definitely be staying for a while this time.

“W-What?” Sousuke stuttered, looking almost scared. Rin raised an eyebrow, facing him now as he sat down.

“Last night... You were like, still all loopy from the anesthesia or something” Rin said casually, suddenly wondering if Sousuke even remembered him being there... The way his roommate paled suggested that he didn't.

“Shit... What... Do I even want to know what I said?...” Sousuke groaned, closing his eyes and bending his head as a blush overtook him.

Cute...

“Only that you've been in love with me forever. Oh, and you think my hair is pretty” Rin couldn't help the playful tone, and the small embellishment. It was still the same gist as what Sousuke had mumbled to him though.

The bedridden man's eyes peeked over at Rin as he said the word 'love'. Then his eyes widened in shock at the hair comment.

“Fuck” Sousuke swore with feeling, blushing the hardest that Rin had ever seen. He seemed to be unsure of what to say. There wasn't really any way to mitigate those words.

“I understand, Sou. Really, I mean, I am pretty irresistible” Rin teased a bit. He didn't want to take it _too_ far, just enough to keep the mood light. “I do have a question though” he said more seriously, “How long _is_ 'a long time', exactly?”

Sousuke made a grumbling, huffing noise, then muttered something under his breath.

“What?” Rin leaned in, grinning, “What was that?”

“Thirteen, ok?” Sousuke practically growled. When he glanced back to Rin, he obviously didn't appreciate the lighthearted manner he was faced with. Rin knew he had him on the ropes though, and wasn't about to back off now.

“Holy shit... Thirteen, huh?... Wait, was it before, or _after_ you showed me how to masturbate for the first time?” he asked, his voice low with conspiracy.

“I'm not answering that” Sousuke said curtly, sounding offended.

“Aw, come on. Inquiring minds want to know” the red head pressed, leaning in closer. He had a lopsided grin on now, waiting for an answer. Sousuke's face turned halfway toward him, only taking Rin in from the corner of his eyes.

“Are you making fun of me?” he asked in a voice that was smaller than should be coming from such a huge guy.

Rin sat up straighter in his chair, a noise escaping from his throat that indicated Sousuke should know better.

“Hey, I wouldn't do that. Come on... I really just wanted to know... ...Too much?” Rin asked, gently, very very gently, punching Sousuke's bicep on his good arm. It was more of a pat with his fist, really. Sousuke looked over to him disbelievingly, and Rin was pretty sure he saw a tiny hint of hope in his eyes. Knowing his friend was a little short of hope these days, Rin decided to do something just a bit daring.

Leaning up, he was practically out of his chair to reach Sousuke's lips. He made sure he came in slow, since the last thing he wanted to do was startle him. Because of that, it was abundantly clear what was happening. Sousuke licked his lips, looking nervous, yet expectant, as Rin's covered his. Then his eyes closed, and Rin gave himself over to massaging those lips with his own. It was slow and sensual, their best kiss yet, if Rin did say so himself.

They were interrupted by a loud beeping noise though, that made Rin draw back in concern. Sousuke looked flustered, maybe a little confused, as three nurses burst into the room.

“Yamazaki-san, are you ok? Is the pain becoming bad again?”

Sousuke just blinked at them for a moment, then denied that anything was wrong.

“Are you sure? Your heart rate monitor went off...”

It was an impossible task, but Sousuke tried his best at it, to keep his face still when he realized what had happened. He could virtually _feel_ Rin snickering, even if internally, probably proud as a peacock to have gotten such a reaction from him.

“I'm fine, really. I just, have a few things I'm working through...” he tried to be as vague as possible with his explanation. Only after they all finally left, did he breath a sigh of relief. He was almost afraid to look over to Rin though, who had been suspiciously quiet the entire time the nurses were there. When he did hazard a glance, he found the object of his affections grinning at him happily. Rin had his chin resting on one hand, propped on the railing of the bed.

“I had no idea you could be this adorable, Sou-chan” he said with a wink. Sousuke rolled his eyes, looking away while he blushed furiously.

“I'm not the adorable one...” he groused, wondering how long he'd have to stay hooked up to the stupid heart monitor anyway. Rin just smiled even wider.

“Oi, I almost forgot!” he suddenly sat up, fishing in his pocket. “I passed a market on the way back from the hotel, so I got you these” Rin said overly casually. He held out a small bag of grapes to Sousuke, seeming very pleased with himself.

“I know how much you like fruit, and hospital food sucks... I'd offer to feed them to you, but I don't want the staff to think you're having a heart attack” he lowered his voice for the second part of that, meeting Sousuke's eyes with a quick quirk of his eyebrows. Rin was being so playful, so wonderful about the whole 'I kissed you' issue, that Sousuke could almost forget he had nothing to do with the rest of his life now.

Accepting the bag, he placed the grapes on his lap for a moment. Hesitantly, he laced his fingers together with Rin's, feeling his blush return full force.

“They said I can't use my arm at all for a couple weeks, while it heals... So, you'll have to pick them off the stem for me” he said while looking at the bag, definitely not at Rin. The idiot was already grinning like some damned Cheshire cat, and he had a feeling it was only going to get worse from here on out. He'd never admit to being pleased by it. At least not where anyone else could potentially hear...

 

In the next couple days, Sousuke had a surprising number of visitors. When his parents were finally able to check him out, he was allowed to return to school, though with a few caveats. Swim practice was, of course, out. But so was any other kind of strenuous activity, until his physical therapist cleared him for it. Sousuke wasn't sure what he would do if he couldn't even lift weights with his free arm... It was fairly depressing not to be able to work out, especially on top of everything else.

At his parents' order, he had another kind of therapy session going on too, but he didn't expect to get much out of it. He wasn't the kind to mope. Sousuke was focused, determined... He just needed to decide what he was going to shift his focus to now, simple as that. He'd always been good at logic and puzzle type stuff. There had to be a career where he could use something like that, instead of just his muscles.

As it was right now, he glared at Rin for daring to pick up his pace a little so he could open the door to their room for Sousuke.

“Jeez, I'm not a freakin' invalid” he sighed, afraid where this would lead if Rin got carried away.

“Hey, I just spent _days_ sneaking kisses at your bedside, I think I'm allowed to say you're my boyfriend now” Rin said with a steady face, “And if I want to open the door for my boyfriend, I will.” His eyes gave him away though, and Sousuke bit back the remark he'd been forming, seeing the possessiveness there.

“ _And_ , you're on the bottom from now on” Rin added decisively, crossing his arms over his chest. Sousuke stared at him for a moment, his jaw going slack.

“Oh fuck, you mean the beds” he suddenly covered his face with his good hand. Rin could still see the tips of his ears burning though, and was pretty delighted.

“Dirty mind much?” he said teasingly, certainly not having any objections to exploring whatever sexual things they could.

“You said it that way on purpose” Sousuke accused him.

“Well, _yeah_ ” Rin admitted right away, dumping his bag on the floor unceremoniously. “It's doctor's orders, you have to sleep with me” he said with a cockiness that made it almost a smirk.

“You're not going to take the top? Bunk, that is?” Sousuke immediately latched onto this new information, all teasing aside. He slipped his arm around Rin's waist, keeping him close for his answer.

“Hell no, we have a lot of making out to catch up on. This way will be the most efficient, don't you think?” Rin tried to keep his cool, but this close to Sousuke, pressed against his front, he couldn't help but blush. The heat building in Sousuke's eyes ensured it.

“You want to make out with me, in your bed?”

“Idiot... Of course I do...amongst other things...” Rin affirmed again, sensing a layer of disbelief still lingering in his boyfriend's mannerisms.

“Oh...Ok... I just... Well, even without this” Sousuke nodded toward his wrapped up arm, “I don't really have any experience, with, uh, that...”

As much as Rin didn't like to admit not knowing what he was doing, this time felt different.

“It's...not like I do either... It'll be romantic, right? To learn together?” he asked, hoping Sousuke found it so as well, and wasn't expecting Rin to 'lead' him through this or anything.

“...God... So cute...” was all Sousuke said before kissing him.

Rin took that as a yes...

It was exciting, the whole body flush that things like kissing Sousuke produced in him. He would normally unpack his stuff right away, keep everything as tidy as possible. There was no way he was breaking contact though, as Sousuke walked him backwards to the bed. Rin's stomach was giving little flips while he helped his roommate get comfortable on the bottom bunk with him. He let Sousuke have the outside, since he couldn't crawl very easily.

“So, is this the part where we lay in each other's arms, kissing until we fall asleep?” Rin questioned, settling himself over Sousuke's good side with a grin.

“It can be” the larger man blushed slightly, running his hand up Rin's back as their lips slid together again. Suddenly Sousuke could _feel_ his heart rate tick up as Rin's tongue gently probed his mouth. He was never so glad to be out of that damn hospital bed. Holding the redhead as close as he could, he returned the favor, exploring Rin's mouth with slow, savoring motions. He'd wanted for so long to be able to savor him...

Rin's skin was smooth under his fingertips, and his mouth hot against his.

“You know, I'm beginning to sense a small problem with the falling asleep part...” Rin murmured, kissing along the strong cut of Sousuke's jaw for a moment. Did he have any idea how seductive he was being right now?...

“Hey, who are you calling small?” Sousuke grinned back, having the same predicament developing himself. He could feel Rin firming against his stomach, which was only natural of course. It would have been insulting if Sousuke had been getting hard like this and Rin _hadn't_ , actually. As a means of offering encouragement, Sousuke looked right into Rin's eyes while he cupped his ass. When he squeezed, Rin's hips jutted against his, and he looked slightly startled.

Oh, Sousuke could get used to this...

He would be more than happy to help acquaint Rin with all the little reactions his body could give.

“I don't think I've ever seen you look quite this pleased with yourself...” Rin decided to be a little bold, since Sousuke was, and rolled his hips more purposefully against him. A flash of realization, obviously dirty, lit up Rin's face right after that.

“Are you going to need some help with that?” he quirked his eyebrows in the direction of Sousuke's crotch, knowing the man was right handed.

“I might be persuaded... You know, if it helps make you feel useful...” Sousuke tried to keep his composure, but he was starting to get hard much more quickly now, than he had been a moment ago.

“So kind of you” Rin said sarcastically, ghosting his fingers down and over Sousuke's growing bulge. It wasn't until he felt the firmness there first hand that he seemed to realize exactly what he was doing. His cheeks lit on fire, but he didn't move away. Sousuke was already breathing more heavily, obviously not from pain though. Anticipation, urging him not to stop, was clear in the prone man's eyes. Scooting down a little, Rin undid the button of Sousuke's pants for him while still glued to his facial expressions.

“I guess it's about time I finally returned the favor from all those years ago, eh?” he grinned, palming Sousuke experimentally through his boxers. His boyfriend gasped, and the sound dismissed a good deal of Rin's nervousness. The underwear beneath him were getting ready to burst any moment now, and suddenly Rin was dying of curiosity. He carefully pulled back the elastic, exposing Sousuke's length as he moved the fabric down.

“This might be a little different than fumbling around in the lockers after swim practice” Sousuke said, seeming almost as if giving a warning. Rin felt like maybe...yes. Yes, he should have been warned.

“Fuck” he said with feeling, staring openly at the cock head brushing Sousuke's navel, now that it was freed. “I'm going to need both hands just to...you know” Rin said in disbelief, gesturing toward it.

“Um, yeah...you might...” Sousuke cleared his throat as if embarrassed, which made it twitch.

“No, I mean, it's great” Rin heard himself saying, feeling intimidated and impressed all at once.

“A teammate back in Tokyo told me once that it was a good thing I was into guys, cause I'd never find a girl who could, uh, take it” Sousuke blushed again, not really sure why he was sharing that tidbit right now.

“I thought you said you hadn't done any stuff like this?” Rin questioned him, looking like he was warming himself up more and more for the idea of actually touching Sousuke next.

“It was the showers after practice, it just, happened, it wasn't like he helped me out with it or anything” Sousuke said quickly, wishing he could shrug it away. Instead he settled for rubbing his hand over Rin's thigh, not sure if he should say more, or just shut up now...

With a nod and a discerning glance, fingers finally wrapped around Sousuke's firmness.

“So, no one has ever touched you this way before?” he asked so casually it was almost a demand.

“N-No, no one” Sousuke's words left him in a breathless reply.

“Good... I like being the first” Rin smiled happily. He stroked slowly over the massive length, getting a feel for it, he told himself. Sousuke's mouth dropped open, watching with rapt attention and louder than normal breaths.

Wow. Rin could totally get used to the look on his face right now...

He pumped one hand up and down for a moment, squeezing gently at the tip now and then. Sousuke was red in the face by the time Rin brought his second hand into play. At first he just fondled his balls for a bit, teasing and rubbing over them. Sousuke groaned when both hands closed over his shaft, working him in rhythm. The fingers over Rin's thigh gripped tightly, and soon the monstrous cock in his hands was spilling itself all over it's owner's chest.

Rin had never felt so...so _powerful_ , in all his life.

“God you're gorgeous” he said softly as he wrung every last drop out. Sousuke whimpered beneath him, spent, and Rin finally let go, missing the feel of it in his palms almost immediately. Well, there was another he could work with, pressing neglected inside his own pants... Feeling flushed and increasingly desperate, Rin pulled out his own length, pushing his clothes hastily down his legs. He noticed Sousuke watching him intently, and felt rather acutely on display.

With an arm sliding around his waist, Rin was pulled down, closer to his new boyfriend.

“Here, the angle's just right like this... Let me help you too” Sousuke's chest rumbled with the depth his voice took on. Things low in Rin's stomach tightened and twisted, hearing it drop like that.

Yeah, he was definitely into this.

The hand that wrapped around him was larger than his own, not necessarily that much rougher, but just, _different_. It nearly made Rin swoon to feel it tighten and begin moving. He felt like his entire body became heavier in that instant, threatening to collapse.

Sousuke's eyes were bright with an enchanted attention, watching Rin gently rock in front of him. It was a fate he didn't know had been in his reach, to get to see his friend's face filled with arousal like this again. Then Rin suddenly bent down, burying his face in Sousuke's neck. The nuzzling there was almost enough to distract him from the way Rin's hips were left up in the air.

No more pretense was being had, and those beautiful red locks rested right against Sousuke's cheek as his hand was shamelessly thrust into.

“Fuck...” Rin groaned, and he felt Sousuke's grip squeezing him just the perfect amount as he came. How did he even do that? Was it because he'd been the first to make him come like this to begin with? Rin blushed furiously at the thought, but figured it was ok if so...all things considered.

“Damn it” Sousuke swore, his voice still thick and deep, “You've got me hard again now, showing me that...”

Rin grinned against his neck, and made a comment about “vicious cycles”, knowing they had plenty of time to tease each other and work it out. He hadn't slept in the same bed as anyone else since middle school, but it felt like a milestone being crossed this time, instead of the past being clung to.

Later, Sousuke would have to deal with the heavy task of rearranging his future. He wasn't in quite the right state of mind yet, with it being so soon, to fully deal with things. But in the days to come, it would eventually strike him, that a lot of his underlying drive to swim had been so he could be close to Rin again.

Eventually he had to confess to Rin that he wouldn't be able to attend university at all, not without his scholarship. His parents had poured everything into his prestigious high schools. Both teens cried on each other that night, but there was no cure for the bitterness of that reality. Only Rin's continuing sweetness offset it for Sousuke. He might have indulged the guy's romantic tendencies a little more than he normally would have, because of that...

But they were working it out. They were hopeful. Rin chose a scout from a college in the big city, purposefully knowing there would be more opportunity for Sousuke there as well. The last time Sousuke had specifically thought of hope, he was cursing the shreds of it in his hands on that shower floor. With Rin grinning at him in their shared intimacy though, he felt ok to begin cradling a little sprout of it in his chest again.

 

**Author's Note:**

> The truly sad part is we know with 100% certainty that this is NOT what's going to happen in episode 10.   
> This fucking show man...


End file.
